A husband and wife go visit a marriage counselor. First, the wife
speaks to the counselor alone.

The counselor asks, "You say you've been married 20 years, so what
seems to be the problem?"

The wife replies, "It's my husband, he's driving me crazy! I'm going
to leave him if he continues!"

"How does he drive you crazy?"

"For 20 years," she says, "he's been doing these stupid things. First,
whenever we go out, he's always looking at the floor and refuses to go
near anyone. It's very embarrassing. "

The marriage counselor is amused, "Anything else?"

"He keeps picking his nose all the time! Even in public!"

"Hmm, anything else?"

The wife hesitates, "whenever we're making love, he NEVER lets me be
on top! Once in a while, I'd like to be in control!"

"Ah," says the counselor, "I think I'll talk to your husband now."

So the wife goes out of the room and the husband enters.

The counselor tells him, "Your wife says that you've been driving her
crazy. She might even leave you."

The husband looks shocked, "WHAT? For 20 years I've been loving and
considerate and I've always given her what she wants! What could be
the problem?"

The counselor explains, "She says that you've got these habits that
are driving her crazy.

First, you're always acting strange in public; looking at the floor
and never going near anyone else."

The husband looks concerned, "Oh, you don't understand! It's one of
the few things my father told me to do on his death bed and I swore
I'd obey everything he said."

"What did he say?"

"He said that I should never step on anyone's toes!"

The counselor looks amused, "Actually, that means that you should not
do anything that would cause anyone else to get angry."

The husband looks sheepish, "Oh. Okay."

The counselor continues, "And you keep picking your nose in public."

"Well, its another thing my father specifically commanded me to do!
He told me to always keep my nose clean."

The counselor looks faint, "That means that you should not indulge in
any criminal activity."

"Oh," says the husband feeling very stupid.

"And finally, she says that you never allow her to be on top during
your lovemaking."

"This," says the husband seriously, "is the last thing my father
commanded me to do on his deathbed and it's the most important thing."

"What did he say?" asks the counselor

"With his dying breath, he said, 'Don't screw up.'"